gazette9.com
The '03 River Run
Laughlin, Nevada
April 23rd to 26th, 2003
Saturday, 4/26
Playing & Winning
Another beautiful blue-sky riding day, and a lot happening - a poker run, arm wrestling, bike show, beauty contests, drag racing, and drawings for three new Harleys - a full day of fun and games.
I checked out the scene in Oatman, then rode out at 1 p.m. First stop, bike drags at the Avi casino. That was the plan - actually my first stop was by a cop on Boundary Cone Road, who wished to counsel me for having an excessively dirty license plate. O, the shame! I did feel guilty - because riders going by were looking so sympathetic. But I just got a polite warning, and a thorough ID check, and I rode away, a little cleaner.
But I would suggest, in the future, the state should supply a license plate that doesn't attract so much dirt.
The bike drags were $5 to get in, and for another $2 you could race the quarter-mile. There were some modifieds, but most were stockers racing for laughs - Sportsters, Big Twins, V-Rods, Buells. Watching the racing, it seemed the rider made more difference than the motorcycle.
A local rider with an interesting history did several fantastic high-speed wheelies down the strip on a big-bore Suzuki. A bike wreck years ago made him paraplegic, but rather than quit riding, he designed struts that come down and stabilize his bike at a stop. I'm told he's making these for others now. I can't remember his name, and I can't find a newspaper article I have on him, but if anyone's interested, e-mail me and I'll check it out.
The
lovely Miss Betty Boop, on her Booper Glide, with a wicker top
box! She was rippin' and ready to race down the strip, livin' it
up at the River Run! Only one small technical problem - you can't
race in a frilly skirt. But apparently some gentlemen donated
leathers so ma'mzelle could have fun and not be disappointed. Of
course I had to see this.
After wrestling on the borrowed
leathers, she goosed her bike up to the start line, ready to
race, ready for whatever Lady Luck - or Lord Luck - might dish
out. The whole crowd was watching this one. The two racers got
their instructions from the official, the orange
starter's flags were raised...
Flags down and they were off!
Her opponent had got his revs up and a better start off the line but Betty wasn't giving up! Coming from behind she was catching up, gaining, gaining - Oh! But not in time!
She was back and staging for another go. A guy walked up yelling encouragement and advice through the fence - "Ya gotta get the revs up! Ya did great but ya gotta get the revs up!"
Seeming giddy with adrenaline, as a Boop should be, she laughed and said, "I didn't even get it out of second gear!"
"Yeah good, but ya gotta get the revs up!"
"I guess I should get it out of second gear, too, huh?"
Practice makes perfect, and she looked like she'd be enjoying it for a while. I wanted to make the bike show at the Golden Nugget, though, so I rode out.
The ride up Needles Highway was a breeze. I kept to the speed limit, as I always do during this event, but I didn't see any sign of a cop. No need for one - I was in open echelon with a whole lot of other riders, all diggin' a beautiful ride at 45 mph.
I parked my dirty desert rat in a row of lustrous, gleaming Big Twins at the Belle, and walked over to the Nugget. The bike show awards area was in the parking lot right off Casino Drive. There were about 50 bikes there - stunning custom motorcycles, and a couple of classics, restored like jewels from a time capsule.
A motorcycle for hidden dark highways and the neon night. An Arlen Ness custom nearby had a price tag on the seat - $46,500.After scoping out the bikes I had time to kill before the awards. Ten steps away I got a cold beer and a seat at a table under a shady café awning, to take it easy and watch the crowd go by. While I was there I pulled out the day's schedule and ticked off the things I'd have to pass on: Arm wrestling - not this time. Miss River Run, Miss Hawaiian Tropic, Leather & Lace, and Victoria's Secret "Bedroom Babes"? I was sipping a cold beer, surrounded by deliciously beautiful women as far as the eye could see. Talk about spoiled and lazy!
A local radio DJ got the bike awards underway at 4 o'clock. First up were the vintage bikes, competing for a plaque and a $500 Harley-Davidson gift certificate. The runner-up was called first - a nicely restored '38 H-D flathead 45 out of Las Vegas. The gent rode his bike up onto the podium, and failed to stop, riding right off the other side stabbing frantically at the brakes. Guess he'd cut a little corner restoring those. But he got turned around and got back in position and got his plaque.
The class winner was a '39 Indian 4, wearing the colors of the 1939 World's Fair:
I'd admired and photographed all the other bikes there, and now free blues and $3 drafts were calling me. I realize, now, I was becoming addicted to free live blues.
Walking back over to the Colorado Belle, I noticed the Edgewater casino was advertising rooms available - odd, because the River Run used to have Laughlin sold out months ahead. It'll be a while before they publish the numbers for this year.
I looked in on my bike as I walked by. A few people were checking it out, pointing out details. Looked like they were getting a kick out of it. One of the coolest things about a bike rally is checking out all the different motorcycles people ride in on. But this is one area where the River Run falls a little short - it's practically an American V-Twin fest, and a lot of people are starved for some variety, even if it's just my duct-taped, dirty, desert riding Big Single. Myself, I'd love to see more Triumphs, Nortons, Ducatis, Moto Guzzis...
At the free outdoor blues, Michael Burk's band was wailing away. There was a good little crowd dancing in front of the stage. I got myself a cold 24 oz. MGD and kicked back in a little patch of shade in back of the audience. For some reason I had a sense the peak had passed, and things were winding down. I hate when that happens - but, I just relaxed and got with the music. No complaints.
It seems like some people were just getting started, though. I heard the crowd liven up, and I stood up to see. Some well-built blonde chick was getting wild dancing on the catwalk in front of the stage, topless. She was having a great time, and you gotta love it. But she didn't last very long before security came and gave her the hook, to pissed-off boos from the audience. Some guy in a suit and a whitewall haircut gave her a lecture, and they made her go sit back down with her friends.
After a while the music stopped and I heard some local bigwigs being introduced. People were standing up, so I got up too. There were beautiful women on stage - the Hawaiian Tropic girls! The finalists were going to do their thing so the bigwig judges could pick the winner - Miss HT '03. These girls had a tough act to follow, after that topless blonde.
Each girl came out and strutted the catwalk a few times in a different killer outfit, and in a bikini that was like little ribbons on a gift. To demonstrate brains and personality, they had to answer questions: "What would you do if you were president?" "What would you want with you on a desert island?" Gorgeous chicks, but several of them had the strangest, screechiest Mickey Mouse voices. I guess, from the size of their lungs I expected something a little richer.
Who won? Some knockout blonde. My favorites, two dark-haired beauties, finished out of the money.
It was getting to be around sundown, so I checked out the night's schedule. Three new 2003 Harleys would be won in drawings this evening - a Road King at the Ramada Express, a Dyna Sport at the River Palms, and a Fat Boy at the Pioneer.
In concerts, Black Oak Arkansas was playing at the Avi, George Thorogood at the Flamingo, Lover Boy playing the Riverside, and Molly Hatchet at the River Palms.
It was great to see George Thorogood and the Destroyers appearing in Laughlin, but at 30 or 40 dollars a ticket? "I don't got no job, how'm I supposed to pay for these tickets?" And with free blues? Debbie Davies' band was just getting set up, everybody was grinnin', greased and gassed, and I hadn't heard her yet. Goodbye, George.
Debbie started out rockin', but when she got into singing some chick blues that were high in whine and low on humor, I took a walk out to the Strip to check the action. 'Nother nice thing about free blues - I could walk out for a while and still get my money's worth.
On the way out I saw another couple of guys checking out my motorcycle, probably wondering how far I rode it to get in on the run. I noticed the Jesus freaks had stuck their fliers in every bike in the row - but they skipped mine. It's a great bike.
I may have been right about the peak passing. Last night on the Strip there was an edge, with guys blasting their engines, popping wheelies, and laying down rubber, but tonight the street action was downright tame. Like Friday night, cops were everywhere - suburbans parked in the center lane, mounted cops in groups of three here and there, bicycle cops, foot cops, cops in a helicopter circling overhead - but tonight the scene was all mild-mannered, peaceful and relaxed. Everybody just getting around and having a great time.
Meanwhile, back in Mohave Valley, on Highway 95 just after sundown cops tried to pull a guy on a Harley over for speeding. It seems he decided to outrun 'em - this on a road saturated with police. He only made it a couple of miles. They estimate he was doing about 100 when he rear-ended a passenger car. He was airlifted to Vegas in critical condition. No one else was hurt in the crash.
I hung out and watched the crowd on the strip for an hour, to get the MGD out of my system before riding home. Thus endeth the '03 River Run for me. It was a great four days - life should be like this all the time! But, around here, it almost always is.
